omglobitsalex:

THESE ARE SO GREAT

(Source: koolroffenvena, via laughingstation)

Anonymous: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes

(via thefuuuucomics)

lucillesballs:

overhearing people talking about something u like

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hearing that they talkin shit

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(via lolsofunny)

sheepalicious:

takeawaysthepain:

nentindo:

how do beliebers still even exist

How do dumbasses still exist?

thats literally the exact same question

(via freakingyou)

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via zackisontumblr)